Q and A

LoveMind blowing power of love

Those who fall in love, fall in love at first sight - Shakespeare

Neuroscience has proven that the brain is plastic and shown that it continually develops through relationships with other. The human brain is a social organ which is built and re-built when in relationship with others. This development can be a negative experience causing damage or a positive one helping us to grow to our full potential.

My PhD research showed that when we’re in deep connection with another our neuro-physiology (the energy of our brain and bodies line-up). This study provided a deeper understanding of what happens between two people when they’re interacting and is particularly relevant to ‘being in love.’ The study proved that the 6th sense exists between two people, so if you’re feeling anxious your partner will feel the anxiety without you even touching them and if you’re feeling happy or amorous they will feel that as well without you saying a word. This is the mind blowing power of relationship.

Research shows that there is nothing accidental about falling in love. We’re born for romance and although we may not fall in love at first sight it usually doesn’t take long to trigger the brain’s primordial networks that are waiting for mating and sexual ecstasy. Our drive to fall in love is partly a physiological instinct to win and court a mate and partly a need for a deep secure attachment to another person. It’s all about connection and our social brain drives the connection.

Falling in love is an innate drive based on brain networks and the intoxication of being in romantic love can produce wild and crazy behaviours. The chemical cocktail released in those first heady weeks puts us on hyper-drive and we are convinced that this person is ‘the one. We become obsessed and the brain looks exactly like a brain high on drugs. This is the romance programme which makes everything look perfect. If we get through the first few weeks or months of this lust rollercoaster we then go into the bonding phase where our neurochemicals settle and we begin to see the things in our partner that we find challenging. This is where we are vulnerable to the pain of a break-up.
Our plastic brain has changed so if the relationship ends we feel the pain of rejection acutely.

Neuroscience has now shown that we can re-wire the brain. The brain is a ‘pandora’s box’ of information about where we have come from, why we act the way we do and what we are capable of. By unlocking these ‘secrets’ we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and create new patterns of behaviour to help us to navigate through life’s issues and create long-lasting love.

It is the power of being with others that shapes our brains.

Read the full article detailing a 5 year study done by Dr Stratford in the Sydney Morning Herald here


Read the Boss article on the creativity of the unconscious here